Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
