Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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