captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize