he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
