I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
