can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
