shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
