We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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