I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
