Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
