i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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