did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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