Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
