I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
