Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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