from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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