i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
