Whod you bang
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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