My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
