very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
