Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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