Texts From Last Night

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  (954): View more from Florida

  You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter

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  (954): You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter http://tfl.nu/xmwz
  Replies (17) Good night (2142) Bad night (506)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.

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  (352): She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all. http://tfl.nu/8svu
  Replies (31) Good night (2773) Bad night (1330)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent

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  (615): everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent http://tfl.nu/hnio
  Replies (39) Good night (3338) Bad night (718)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day

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  (817): Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day http://tfl.nu/cyg4
  Replies (16) Good night (910) Bad night (3592)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.

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  (337): Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again. http://tfl.nu/uobp
  Replies (17) Good night (3760) Bad night (912)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.

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  (207): I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/g4gg
  Replies (35) Good night (2673) Bad night (3685)
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  (760): View more from California

  And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist

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  (760): And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist http://tfl.nu/o8qq
  Replies (7) Good night (2475) Bad night (568)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.

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  (484): she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard. http://tfl.nu/xcqc
  Replies (4) Good night (1819) Bad night (480)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!

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  (239): I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you! http://tfl.nu/6j2k
  Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (2773)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?

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  (229): Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing? http://tfl.nu/q7mi
  Replies (6) Good night (2028) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?

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  (612): So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one? http://tfl.nu/17zg
  Replies (4) Good night (1245) Bad night (616)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?

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  (515): I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life? http://tfl.nu/j85t
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Wat

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  (612): There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday. (763): like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo (612): Wat http://tfl.nu/5jqo
  Replies (5) Good night (1678) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.

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  (405): Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe. http://tfl.nu/6c5y
  Replies (0) Good night (193) Bad night (391)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.

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  (416): Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing. http://tfl.nu/0abd
  Replies (5) Good night (790) Bad night (285)

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