marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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