Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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