We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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