Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
