can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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