I bet he comes in French.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Terrible idea I love it
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
