Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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