At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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