why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
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It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.