Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him. http://tfl.nu/2bsg
  Replies (41) Good night (725) Bad night (6283)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (623): I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit. http://tfl.nu/pl0y
  Replies (15) Good night (5088) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon? (1-732): shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work http://tfl.nu/tkf9
  Replies (18) Good night (6411) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out http://tfl.nu/hdo3
  Replies (12) Good night (1201) Bad night (3508)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles? http://tfl.nu/g9w4
  Replies (30) Good night (3775) Bad night (1520)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching.. http://tfl.nu/8ueu
  Replies (11) Good night (998) Bad night (4159)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it http://tfl.nu/wltj
  Replies (6) Good night (2729) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (61): I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY http://tfl.nu/btxo
  Replies (1) Good night (1581) Bad night (735)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer. http://tfl.nu/vrnz
  Replies (4) Good night (1774) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut? http://tfl.nu/jwsc
  Replies (3) Good night (1467) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status..... http://tfl.nu/5hnt
  Replies (9) Good night (2852) Bad night (1132)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much. http://tfl.nu/4lhq
  Replies (15) Good night (824) Bad night (2393)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil http://tfl.nu/ueg4
  Replies (7) Good night (882) Bad night (1621)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS http://tfl.nu/4mur
  Replies (7) Good night (1754) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good http://tfl.nu/obpt
  Replies (10) Good night (819) Bad night (350)

Randomize