Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"

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  (860): I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John" http://tfl.nu/1on0
  Replies (19) Good night (4695) Bad night (1499)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..

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  (608): Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me.. http://tfl.nu/thrx
  Replies (23) Good night (1745) Bad night (4845)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer

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  (613): i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer http://tfl.nu/3jhr
  Replies (7) Good night (3938) Bad night (1060)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay

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  (508): Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay http://tfl.nu/rfq4
  Replies (44) Good night (1447) Bad night (8674)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence

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  (770): Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence http://tfl.nu/sug8
  Replies (15) Good night (2980) Bad night (1025)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?

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  (715): hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes? http://tfl.nu/o98x
  Replies (10) Good night (5811) Bad night (892)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume

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  (248): I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume http://tfl.nu/d1bc
  Replies (4) Good night (951) Bad night (1068)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?

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  (404): Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture? http://tfl.nu/tx1u
  Replies (3) Good night (553) Bad night (1024)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.

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  (608): The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee. http://tfl.nu/13nr
  Replies (3) Good night (2256) Bad night (512)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine

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  (314): Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine http://tfl.nu/rnj9
  Replies (11) Good night (771) Bad night (1425)
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  (619): View more from California

  I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup

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  (619): I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup http://tfl.nu/dv60
  Replies (8) Good night (1344) Bad night (680)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?

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  (512): well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...? http://tfl.nu/6jqe
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (644)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit

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  (309): trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit http://tfl.nu/sld4
  Replies (3) Good night (1033) Bad night (493)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.

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  (917): Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it. http://tfl.nu/mn53
  Replies (2) Good night (721) Bad night (336)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.

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  (724): body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe. http://tfl.nu/fyq3
  Replies (2) Good night (605) Bad night (321)

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