so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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