Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.

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  (360): So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor. http://tfl.nu/jcpz
  Replies (9) Good night (3464) Bad night (560)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.

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  (405): She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade. http://tfl.nu/j0qu
  Replies (65) Good night (3508) Bad night (6641)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween

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  (978): Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween http://tfl.nu/fww2
  Replies (38) Good night (6367) Bad night (1311)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.

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  (484): all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar. http://tfl.nu/zjrs
  Replies (1) Good night (1553) Bad night (745)
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  (818): View more from California

  Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night

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  (818): Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night http://tfl.nu/1iuj
  Replies (6) Good night (964) Bad night (1850)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Did it finish?

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  (203): You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified. (508): Did it finish? http://tfl.nu/ahm8
  Replies (4) Good night (3025) Bad night (901)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?

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  (201): I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this? http://tfl.nu/60aa
  Replies (6) Good night (1168) Bad night (684)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...

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  (765): We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often... http://tfl.nu/m3tb
  Replies (4) Good night (2053) Bad night (638)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.

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  (443): I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon. http://tfl.nu/q1re
  Replies (4) Good night (1073) Bad night (738)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.

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  (412): Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut. http://tfl.nu/ynt5
  Replies (3) Good night (1113) Bad night (555)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  All you need to know is that isn't jizz

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  (206): All you need to know is that isn't jizz http://tfl.nu/nxjk
  Replies (3) Good night (557) Bad night (847)
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  (510): View more from California

  can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night

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  (510): can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night http://tfl.nu/2hja
  Replies (6) Good night (882) Bad night (518)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?

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  (503): Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them? http://tfl.nu/lznr
  Replies (9) Good night (1391) Bad night (449)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!

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  (505): She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before! http://tfl.nu/qmyv
  Replies (10) Good night (2167) Bad night (446)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.

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  (540): By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill. http://tfl.nu/ghyy
  Replies (0) Good night (726) Bad night (341)

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