I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
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