Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
