Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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