Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
