The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
