College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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