Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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