I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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