Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
