wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
