We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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