Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
