pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Boobs are out for the taking
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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