Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
