Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
