The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
