Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
