don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
