She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
