come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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