New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
