Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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