Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Drake has all the answers
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
