I feel like I'm in dance class right now
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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