you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i came on her dog
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
